Losing Nemo

I am heartbroken to report that we are no longer pursuing the adoption of Nemo.

We have wanted him since August, and thought we were getting him in November. We waited ever since, and not too long ago we were ecstatic to receive news that we were officially, (finally), getting him.

Our Sweetpea has Spina Bifida and we thought Nemo had Cerebral Palsy, (mother did drugs while pregnant). They are a month apart, so we were pretty much adopting twins with special needs. I knew we could handle that. It is a little overwhelming, but we could have done it. In spite of their issues, they would live pretty normal lives.

Today we got devestating news. The drugs had left him with permanent damage.

He is 16 months old and has the brain of a 4 month old. He always will.

We are heartbroken for his future, and not happy with his mother's choice.

This new discovery however, left us with a terrible decision to make.

Two special needs babies was overwhelming, but doable. Nemo is now severely special needs. I think I could have handled it, but is that fair to Sweetpea? Is it fair to Nemo?

If Nemo was our only child...If Sweetpea was older...IF, IF, IF.

We weighed all the pros and cons, and decided that it was in the best interest of both babies for us not to take Nemo.

I have always and will always fully believe in Romans 8:28. I still fear for his future as I do for Woody and Buzz's. I know I just have to trust in God's plan for them.

Please pray for Nemo. Pray that his future family finds him soon, and selfishly, I ask you pray for me. Pray that I will be 100% at peace with this decision.

I am heartbroken, but I know this is the best decision. Eventually my heart will catch up with my mind...