Saturday, May 31, 2008
Isn't this the prettiest washing machine you have ever seen? :)
In other news, my poor baby is sick. Jersey woke me up twice last night throwing up! I took him out on the porch the first time and he went potty so that was good. The second time it was dawn so I decided to leave him out there just in case. I just now heard him outside throwing up again! :( One of my very good friends used to work for a vet so I just called her. He is throwing up bile, but if he were throwing up like a human, then I should be concerned. (2 weeks after we got him he threw up like a human and we had to take him to the ER and $600 later he was better). I called her because he was throwing up more often... usually he only throws up bile only once... now it has been three times. She said not to worry unless he starts acting differently. Please pray for his little body. Not only is he throwing up today, but he gets diarrhea more often than dogs usually do so I think he might have a disease. We haven't taken him to the vet yet for testing. Pray that God either a. cures him, or b. shows us his disease so we know the next step to take. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would love a dog this much! He brightens my day! :)
I love this picture! He is SO happy when he goes "bye bye" in the car!
Monday, May 26, 2008
I am a "blog stalker" of a certain family. I do not know these people, but they are Christians and they are in a battle to adopt a child from Guatemala. I check their blog daily for updates on the adoption. They are my brother and sister in Christ, so I feel less of a "stalker" with this in mind. :)
Anyway, on May 21, (3 days after what would have been Tracie's 20 birthday), 7 people were in a car accident on the way to Disney World. 3 people dead at the scene, 3 people in critical condition, and one without a scratch, (the only one wearing a seatbelt). One of the 3 people in critical condition was friends with the blogger. One of the reasons I am angry, (not at God but in general), is that if they were buckled up... NO ONE WOULD HAVE DIED! When Tracie died, she did NOTHING wrong except over corrected. She was wearing her seatbelt, she wasn't on her cell phone, she wasn't speeding, it wasn't raining, she wasn't sleepy, (it was around 11 am), she wasn't under the influence (she didn't drink), etc, etc, etc. This was a comfort to me from the start because I knew that God wanted her... no question about that. Still, when I hear of people being careless, it drives me mad! Ya know?
Back to the present, this is why I am a little jealous, sad, yet thankful. Yesterday she was pronounced dead. While her parents were about to sign the organ donation paper work, (Tracie was a donor, My Lobster and I are donors too), blood started flowing back to her brain. The doctor came in and said, "It's a miracle, she is alive." She obviously still could lose her fight, but still pretty amazing!
Well, why did Tracie have to go? She didn't deserve the fate... if she had been unseat belted, or intoxicated or something than I guess I could understand, but why her?
I am jealous over the fact that she may live after all, (not that she deserves to die, absolutely not, but still). This whole situation makes me a little angry too. However I am thankful. I was thankful from day one that God took Tracie fast. He could have chosen to put her in a coma, and then taken her a few days later. I am so thankful He did not. I am thankful that we did not have to endure false hope, ya know? Or He could have left us with the decision to "pull the plug." Oh how I pray to never have to do that ever! God, if you want one of my loved ones, please take them,.. don't make me decide! Like, if this girl dies after the miracle from yesterday... how will her family take it? I think it would be pretty hard... or what if ultimately they have to "pull the plug" after the miracle and sleepless nights of hope? So all in all I am thankful!
The first year after Tracie died was said to be the hardest. It was, but certain events were harder than others. My wedding, (6 months almost to the day after she died), went very well. When I remembered her I smiled, surprisingly. I took her 19th birthday harder than the one year anniversary of her accident. This year when her birthday rolled around I did not grieve as I did last year. Like I said, after the first year it gets "easier." I cannot believe that in almost 4 months it will be 2 years since she died! WOW, time is crazy! It gets "easier" now, but it is so weird to me that 10 years from now, I will be 31 and Tracie would be 30... we would both be mommies and our kids would probably be best friends, (like Tracie and Lauren were). It is so wierd to me that my kids will only know their Aunt Tracie as an 18 year old girl from pictures.
Tonight I find myself in the same emotion as I did around her 19th birthday, May 18, 2007. Like, I am weepy and emotional... I am still in shock to tell the truth. This is not something you easily comprehend. I keep thinking, (and dreaming), that one day she will come and say, "I didn't die, here I am... y'all are so silly to say that I died..." I know it won't happen and I look forward to the day when I can just remember my sister and not hold out for her... ya know? I know I will see her in Heaven, and I rejoice that she is with Jesus... I don't know what I would do if she didn't know Christ and she was in Hell. Praise the Lord I don't have to even think about that!
Another blog I was "stalking" the other day "Hanging with the Bradford's"... Roxanne Bradford had this to say... I would paraphrase, but she said it so nicely:
"We were created by God in His image, right? So...with that said, we were created with TENDER hearts! God gave us hearts that can be happy, sad, and broken, and He rejoices in that. We can honor God not only in our joy and happiness, but in our sadness too. He is glorified when we are true to the hearts that He gave us. I mean, come on, even Jesus cried! In suppressing every negative feeling we have, we are denying the tenderhearted and CHRIST-LIKE spirit that God has given us."
This was so awesome to me, and tonight it is just what I needed to hear! I think when emotions of my sister arise I subconsciously push them aside, (not fully, but I do not experience them fully either). I think subconsciously I think that if I am sad that God will think I am mad at Him for taking Tracie. Stupid, I know... God is SOVEREIGN! He knows all the feelings of my heart, so why should I hide them from Him? HE GAVE THEM TO ME!
I guess I will end it here... my sweet hubby and puppy are snoring in unison, and while I am not tired because of my emotions... I think I will say goodbye and honor God with my tears, then go to bed. ♥
The four of us (height differences weren't this drastic... we were standing on uneven, angled ground...lol). This was the last siblings picture ever taken. The shirt I am wearing is the shirt I was wearing the day of Tracie's accident. Weird, huh? (August 2006)
Jersey LOVES his grandpa! Grandpa dotes on Jersey like you wouldn't believe! He built this dog run for Jersey so he could play while daddy and grandpa worked in the yard and on the cars.
I looked outside and couldn't find Jersey, I was a little scared, but then...
Jersey noticed I spotted him, and he awoke from his nap. He hid behind the bushes to get in the shade away from the heat! He is so cute!
Grandpa played with Jersey every free chance. When we were getting ready to leave, grandpa ran in and asked me how fast my camera was. He was so impressed by Jersey's jumping height, that he wanted me to catch a picture. Such the proud grandpa! (this pic does not do justice to Jersey's abilities... he can jump SO HIGH)!
On the way there we stopped for a potty break. Daddy and Jersey were outside and when I came to join them, daddy decided to let Jersey run towards me across a busy parking lot. You can imagine my alarm at this. I yelled, "MY LOBSTER" and reached for Jersey, (praying he wouldn't run in front of a car). Jersey ran so fast out of excitement to see me that he passed me a little, (he couldn't stop fast enough). When he passed me I caught his leash in my arm and this was the result... the pic does no justice, and it was more painful than I could have imagined!
On one of our walks, Jersey encountered a friend poking his head through the gate. Isn't that cute!?!
Photo shoot in the trees... he is ready for his close up, Mr. De Mille!
He really enjoyed daddy's joke.... just kidding... ;)
No one every takes our picture, so I always have to do it... sorry for the terrible angles that you always encounter.
He loves his Daddy!
Is this not the sweetest thing? We need a baby, I know!
Friday, May 23, 2008
"...it's reassuring to know that his sweet little Cinderella has met the Prince of Peace."
This statement could not be more true, because little Maria Sue Champman KNEW Jesus and so we all know without a shadow of a doubt where she is... she is in Heaven with Jesus, our Prince of Peace!
If you would like to hear more about Jesus and how you too can know without a shadow of a doubt where you will spend eternity please just ask me! IT IS SO SIMPLE!!! ♥
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Maria Sue Chapman, adopted and youngest daughter to Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman, was killed Wednesday night in a tragic accident in the family driveway on Wednesday evening. She was LifeFlighted to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital but for only reasons God can explain she went home to Him... not to Franklin as we all so desperately wanted.
Your prayers are needed for all in the Chapman family. This is a family who has so generously loved and given to so many. Just hours before this close knit family was celebrating the engagement of the oldest daughter Emily Chapman, and were just hours away from a graduation party marking Caleb Chapman's completion of high school. Now, they are preparing to bury a child who blew out 5 candles on a birthday cake less than 10 days ago. These words are unthinkable to type. - Jim Houser (Manager)
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I am truly heart broken for this family! We need to pray pray pray!!!
SCC wrote a song for his new 3 daughters called Cinderella. It is a must hear, but it is also a Kleenex box song! (it has always been a tear jerker, but especially now... look at the lyrics). Since he is a musician, his life was hectic with his first 3 (birth) children. When he adopted his last 3, he decided he needed a change. This song is about enjoying your kids while you can... here is a taste of the lyrics... you need to go to itunes to buy it though...
"so I will dance with Cinderella, whiles she is here in my arms, cause I know something the prince never knew. I will dance will Cinderella, I don't want to miss even one song, cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight and she'll be gone."
To the Chapman family, even if you never read this... Maria Sue is dancin for Jesus now, and she is waiting until y'all come to be with her too! ♥
Monday, May 5, 2008
In the middle of playing... look at their smiles... Jersey is trying to teach Belle the fine art of smiling for pictures!
My Lobster leading Jersey to see more trucks... ps, we encountered at pit bull 5 minutes later. I was so scared! We had two little puppies, and he followed us close behind for awhile...
AWW, look at Belle... we'll make a country girl out of her, mark my words! :)
My Lobster and Belle... he carried her the whole time! I told him we need to get him a little girl! Jersey is 100% Mama's boy, and I said Paul needs a Daddy's Little Girl... he said no to the dog... he wants a REAL Daddy's Little Girl! ;)
Man, look at his face... my little angel plays really well... he looks scary! (What's funny is that he never once bit her or barked while they played... she did all the biting and barking)!
Close up of Jersey on the equipment. He is so precious!
My Lobster of course wanted to show his son the equipment, but he didn't want to leave out Belle. He wanted the little city girl to experience it too! :)
I love this picture! It was My Lobster's idea... good job Honey! Look at both their smiles... I just love it! :)
Being creative with Belle
My Lobster and Belle in the sunset~
Belle did whatever Jersey did. Here Jersey is chewing on Daddy's underwear, and she decided it looked fun too!
Photo shoot of Belle in the flowers...
Look closey at Belle's eyes in this one.... lol
Our kiss in the shadow of the sunset... ♥
Jersey decided to teach Belle how to drink out of the water bottle. He can "hold" it, but he was proud that she learned to at least drink out of it! :)
more from the photo shoot! How cute!
He would squeak the ball and she would bark. So, he continued to squeak it to make her happy!
Here he is squeaking it and she is ready to pounce! :)
She wanted to chew away too! Look at her cute little face :)
Sunday, May 4, 2008
The book ended with this quote about children. It could no be more true, sadly!
(referring to children playing that should be subject of a painting)...
"...the children's faces would need to be painted in a blur, the way children's faces truly are. For they blur as they run; they blur as they grow and change so fast; and they blur to keep us from loving them too deeply, for their protection, and also ours." ~Gregory Maguire
My uncle on the floor.. he is now 30, happily married and a proud papa to a 5 month old! Baby brother is a Junior in High School and in June will be 18!?! The Belle behind him is happily married and planning her future family! Tracie posing beautifully on the floor would have turned 20 this May!
The blurred faces quote sure makes sense when we look at this picture from Christmas 1991! It doesn't seem that long ago, just ask my mom! My Lobster and I are already aware that tomorrow our (future, hopefully) little girl will be getting married! I cannot believe how fast life goes!!!
Friday, May 2, 2008
I would say dream, but in reality it is a nightmare! Recently, and more and more often, I have dreams about Tracie. The reason they are nightmares is because in the dreams she never died. It is present day, and her and I talk about things, like wow it's weird that for the last year and a half we thought you were dead, etc. (For those who don't know, my sister Tracie was killed in a car accident on October 6, 2006.)
Last night for instance, Tracie and I were talking and I asked her what she felt. I said, "Obviously you are alive now, but you DID die, even for a little while because they said you did, so what did you feel." Now one may think her response would be peace or nothing or whatever, but this is what she said, "I felt the Truth." That's right! She felt Truth! SO, I do not think this dream was a nightmare after all, because for that moment God used my nightmare to remind me where she is. She is in Heaven, and one day I WILL get to talk to her again, in Heaven!
During my daily routine I handle her death pretty well. However, just yesterday I talked to My Lobster about it. It is just so unreal to me! There were 4 of us, and now there's 3! Our identity is forever changed it seems.
The only reason I do handle her death well is because I know without a shadow of a doubt that she is in Heaven and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will join her there someday. Do you know without a shadow of a doubt where you will end up? Let me just say this...
Have you ever told a lie? Yes, we all have, well guess what? You and I and everyone else is destined for HELL! Even one small lie is a sin and sining is our one way ticket to Hell. Scary thought, huh? There is hope, JESUS! There is only one way to Heaven! You cannot earn your way into Heaven! No matter what you do you will ALWAYS fall short! We have to be PERFECT to get into Heaven. So, yes, that ONE LIE is enough to send you to Hell for all eternity... regardless of anything "good" you did on Earth. God sent His only Son to earth. He lived a Holy and Perfectly Blameless life. He was killed on the Cross where He endured the very fires of Hell that were meant for you and me. All you have to do is open your heart to Him, and accept Him as your Lord and Savior! THAT'S IT... IT IS SO SIMPLE!!! I sin everyday, as everyone does, but since Jesus Christ has Saved me, I am going to Heaven regardless of that sin! You see, when God looks down on whom to punish, He does not see me, He sees that Holy and Blameless Son, Jesus!
If you want to know more about this please talk to me! If you do not have Jesus you will go to Hell, PERIOD!
PS, that was the TRUTH Tracie referred to in my dream... that the only way to Heaven is through Jesus and NOTHING else!
Here are a few pictures of Tracie and I growing up. I have loads more, but I am not on my computer so I had to steal from my pictures on facebook! lol
in reverse birth order! Circa 1994?
March 2002! 6 years ago, are you kidding me?!?