Free to be Me! ♥

I have been meaning to post this since New Years, but since I was without internet for over a month, this will have to do! :)

My entire life I struggled with my self image, especially my weight.
Here I am at 15, (I know, if I have self image issues, why would I dress like that? I don't know). I was a size 3, and I thought I as so fat! People said I was "fishing for compliments," but truly I hated my body. I truly thought I was fat, and Bulimia was never far from my mind. I never ever went without makeup because I was "so ugly."
Here I am at my high school graduation party, (17). I put on a little weight over the past 2 years, and I knew it! Bulimia was more and more tempting, but God helped me not succumb to that temptation. Over the next 3 years I would put on even more weight, and go up many dress sizes, until...
Here I am weeks before turning 22. I was at my heaviest, I stopped wearing makeup (a year prior), since my hair was brown I didn't pluck my eyebrows- but I looked fine, (now back blonde I have to because if not you can really tell), and do you know what? I was ok! God finally delivered me from my obsession with my body and self image. To this day, I rarely wear makeup, and it is so freeing! I only wear makeup when I want to, not to impress others, but just for fun! Because I loved myself inspite of my imperfections, God blessed me 2 months later...I started working out and eating healthier... not to lose weight this time, but to be healthy! Since I didn't have an idol about my self image, and since I was doing it for the right reasons, the weight just started falling off! This picture was taken about a week after I started working out and everyone could notice the results already, (very encouraging at the time)! :) I am now even thinner than in the picture when I was 17! I am soooo happy! My body is NO WHERE near perfect, but I am content with it, and that is all that matters!!! I suffered with terrible body image for over 20 years, and now I am free! Free to be me! :)

I felt convicted about coloring my hair, and that is why I kept it brown, (my natural color). God taught me yet another lesson in January. I decided to color my hair myself, and it wasn't perfect or anything, but $8 is better than $100! Since God had delivered me from my self image obsession, I was able to be content with what I thought was less than perfect hair. The above picture has my less than perfect hair color and my new less than perfect hair cut. The old me would be devastated if it wasn't perfect, but I learned it doesn't really matter! Also, when I was younger I felt defined by my hair color. I was born blonde, and when it started darkening, I started highlighting it. So after I went natural almost 2 years ago, I refused to frame pictures of me with my blonde hair, (except for wedding pics). :) I felt that the blonde me was one person,a and the brunette me was another. So when I colored it in January I realized that my hair color does not define me! I could change my hair color everyday if I wanted and I would still be me!

I hope all this encourages you if you have similar struggles! Let me leave you with this song by Francesca Batistelli, "Free to be Me"

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender,
Got a couple rips in my jeans,
Try to fit the pieces together,
But perfection is my enemy!
On my own I'm so clumsy,
But on Your shoulders I can see:
I'm free to be me!