One part of my life that I am particularly thankful to Blogger for is this time last year. From March to July I was Mommy to two little special boys, "Woody and Buzz." I look back at my pain and it is somewhat comforting. I know most people don't understand or acknowledge what I went through, so it is nice to have this blog to go back to and see what I was feeling. I most definitely did not fully express everything about this situation on here, but I am thankful for what I did.
This blog is kinda like a friend- someone who understands where I was. I know it is so cheesy to say, since I wrote it, but still, it is comforting. lol
I pray for them every night, and think of them often- more lately for some reason. I daydream that I get a call from my agency saying they are back in care and we get to adopt them. I know this will not happen, but I torture myself anyway. I just miss them so. I'll hear a song and it just takes my breath away remembering them.
I have been thinking of this post for awhile now, and now that I am finally writing it I seem to be going nowhere. Sorry about that. I guess that what grief is. You have so many thoughts and emotions, and yet you cannot put them down on paper.
On Saturday I threw away their tooth brushes and tooth paste and cleaned out their room. I know, they left in July, but doing this seemed so final. Well, it was.
It is hard for me to breath even writing this rambling post to nowhere.
I just miss my boys so much and I pray not only for their salvation, but that they know that we love them and that we wanted them. I would hate to think that they think we didn't want them.
Here are pics I never posted from last July. It is a really cool park in Katy- I can't wait to take Sweetpea there! I know Mr. Incredible will get a kick out of the train! :)
I used to sing this to the boys and I still mean it... even if by standing by them is only through my prayers.
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