On Thursday when I heard the adoption news, I spent the whole day in tearful worship of God; in awe of His love for me and His power- full of faith and hope. Now it is Monday and my hope is fading. Whether this works out or not, I will be ok. I know God is sovereign, and He has a perfect timing for our family. It is just the unknown that kills me. It is always the unknown that kills me. It always brings me hope, and then leaves me low like this.
I just want to know one way or the other.
I am watching my favorite VeggieTales to soften my hopelessness.
It shows us the story of George Muller. He had an orphanage in Bristol, England. Over 10,000 orphans have gone through his orphanage. He is one of our worldly heroes. He never asked for any kind of help, everything he ever had for the orphans came from God. It is an amazing story of trusting God!Secondly, we meet Gideon from the Bible. He has to trust in God to defeat the Midianite army who are MUCH larger and stronger than the very small army he leads. My favorite part is a dialoge between Gideon and the angel:
Gideon: Do you ever have a hard time trusting God?
Angel: Me? No. I see Him every day. I know how glorious He is. I know He never breaks His promise... It's easy for an angel to trust God. But you have faith in something you have never even seen.
I know God is sovereign and He perfect plans for my life. It is just that if the adoption pans out it will be amazing display of His glory. I want it to happen almost so much just so I can say- "Look at what God did!"
Please pray for the whole situation... for all the orphans out there, for the orphans who will one day be ours, for us to be prepared as parents, and for my patience.
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