Annie and I are heading to Houston on Wednesday, and we are so excited!
There is one thing that I am hesitant about. My weight. With the stress I have experienced this year and my crazy crazy hormones, I have put on weight. I do not plan on keeping this weight on, but I have not yet fixed my hormones and therefore am still fighting the bulge.
Until I was about 23, my entire life I hated my body. Like, stood in my closet crying because all my size 3 clothes made me look fat. I was so tempted to becoming bulimic.
By the grace of God I was released of those chains, and even at my heaviest I am not upset about it. I want to lose weight for my health, but my looks do not rule my life like they used to.
However, I am a little hesitant to come to Houston with the way I look. I know people will pass judgement and such. My looks no longer rule my life, but like any other woman, it is a bit of an issue sometimes.
I just ask you to be kind and to remember that much of my weight gain was out of my control. Last year I lost 25 lbs and it was super easy, (though I have put all that back on). Once I get my hormones in order, I plan to get back on that track and hit my goal weight in 2013.
Just to explain what I am going through a little further: I am very happy- I love where we live, my husband, Annie, etc. But my hormones make me feel almost depressed. I know it is just hormones and not true depression because I have done the research, but feeling this way is awful. You know when Aunt Flow is in town and you get weepy, sad, etc for no reason. That is how I feel a lot right now. I hate it! I almost feel bipolar because I am so so so happy, but that sadness creeps in out of nowhere. It's so lame. I hate you hormones!
So, just please be kind and enjoy our company. We can't wait to see YOU! :)
A friend of mine follows your blog and told me to check it out. My heart was saddened as I read post after post of you putting yourself down. As I read back further I found you to be an attention seeking hypocrite. Sometimes it is better to seek help from a professional than to air your laundry for all to see. Have you ever thought of what kind of a wittiness you are being for your God? I feel bad for you but the one I feel most sad for is your adopted daughter. What kind of example are you setting for her? She deserves better. I could not be silent any longer. You need help.
ReplyDeleteWow Paula, way to make her feel worse. Tricia is acually a excellent example for Christ. She is a loving mother to a very high needs orphan. She is doing one thing that The Lord expressly said to do. She is a cheerful wife and serves her family with love and humility. All she was asking is for people to give her a little grace, which apparently is too much for some to do.
ReplyDeleteMy observation is based on Tricia's blog posts. If you read the ones from way back, you will find inconsistencies, hypocrisies and insecurity written all over them. I am calling her out because I think she needs help. It will do her no good if everyone is always positive. I do not have blinders on because I am not a friend or family member.
ReplyDeleteTasha, I just want you to know that you are deeply loved and that there is no judgement coming from your sisters in Christ. Not to mention, you will be in good company with some of us that wish we were many pounds lighter these days too :-).
ReplyDeletePaula, I don't know you, but my heart hurts reading your post because it reminds me of the bullying mentality about which we have to educate our children. To witness it happening at the adult level is scary. There is something to be said about transparency. We all live in a fallen world and therefore have some great days and plenty of not so great days, so why walk around pretending that we are sinless and struggle free? I'm one that appreciates when people are humble enough to be transparent and say what so many others are thinking/feeling. As it relates to the type of witness someone is being for God, my prayer is that as people share their hearts and are vulnerable, that God would be glorified as the only One that can provide peace, joy, and comfort in this fallen world (whether one is struggling with their weight, addiction, depression, parenting, loss of a job, failed relationships, etc). I hope to give you comfort in knowing that Annie is in GREAT hands. First and foremost because she is in God's hands and secondly because she has world class parents that aren't parenting her in their own strength, but in Christ alone. Paul and Tricia are incredible parents and I know because I have seen it first hand. You are correct about one thing Paula and that is that Tricia needs help... we ALL do! We need the help of a God who, while we were yet sinners, sent His Son to die for us, saving us from God's wrath (which we all deserve). Regardless of our opinions on how people should or should not conduct themselves, at least we all have one thing in common... a need for God! Paula, please know that I'm in no way trying to pick a fight or put you down, in fact I would guess that if I talked to your friends and family they would speak highly of you. I just want to let you know that if we are going to teach our children that bullying is unacceptable, then we need to live that out as adults too.
Just for the record....we aren't related!!!! Xoxox
ReplyDeleteIve have known Tricia for about 8 years... Those years have been the best of my life because God has blessed me with knowing a special, kind, giving, generous and BIG hearted person.She has prayed for me constantly, loved me through the hardest times in my life and has never given up on me and Im 100% positive that Im not the only friend she has done that for...I have witnessed people/person BULLY her before in the past...and I for one WONT BE SILENT ABOUT IT... Paula, fortunately, Tricia and many of her friends have better ways of expressing their feelings than I do.I may come across a bit rude...i apologize for that..sort of :/ All I can say is, how dare you say those mean, insensitive, and nasty things on here about a woman that has given her life to God, adopted a child with a special/high needs, has suffered the loss of a sibling and STILL finds the strength and POWER THROUGH GOD to courageously and faithfully give herself completely to being a mother, wife and friend !!!! You feel sorry for her adopted daughter??? REALLY?? Wow! I feel sorry for you because you Dont even know what you are saying??? Obviously you dont!!! Please take a minute to re-think what you say! I feel sorry for ALL the people that had to read your mean post! She USED to feel uncomfortable... and you know we all , as women, have insecurities or concerns that creep in to us at times. It happens... instead of JUDGING, BEING CRITICAL, maybe offer support or understanding. Maybe you are feeling threatened because you could use Tricia as an example of how to be a BETTER person. and you are falling short in your own life-i dont know you-but based on what you said "attention seeking hypocrite" "reading post after post of putting yourself down" do you find yourself falling short of things that you could be doing better??? were you seeing your own faults or where you could fall short in your own life??? Maybe some things to think about :) Im not a saint, dont claim to be one, but Im better than I used to be... So is Tricia... she has come a long way, YOU could learn some things. God Bless you.
ReplyDeleteI feel the need to clear things up a bit. I stand by my observations and contemplated even writing back. I know I will be perceived as a "bad guy" but that's ok. I think you are worth it Tricia. I NEVER said anything about Tricia's weight. Her issues are not weight issues. I have read most of her post and have noticed a few (to say the least) inconsistencies. For example, May 2008 - Happiest Place on Earth (mentioned a promise of going to Disney yet plans must have changed because there was no further mention of this), March 2009 - Growing Pains, Part 6 (talked about how she was giving up TV and Movies because "God told her to" (there's a whole other topic of conversation), and October 2009 - Rolla Coaster (where she talks about moving to California, Dallas, and how she was going to Africa to adopt a baby). Tricia, after reading about your whole life story I realize you have been through a lot in a short period of time (loss of your sister, marriage, hopeful pregnancy wishes, adoption, etc.). This may be the cause of your underlying discontentment. My hope for you is that you will seek help from a counselor over a period of years to help you sort through things. If needed, I would be happy to send you some recommendations. I will add you and your family to my prayer list. God Bless.
ReplyDeletePaula:
ReplyDeletehttp://keierleber.blogspot.com/2012/11/thanks-for-being-kind.html
http://keierleber.blogspot.com/2012/11/in-my-defense.html